A Quest For the Nostalgic Scent
by PsychoInk
Summary: A new story brightens our eyes about how Mugen, Jin, and Fuu meet. Enjoy this retelling of a great tale.  Warning: It's Rated M for a reason.
1. 1: The Creation of Aquaintanceship

-[After much procrastination, I bring you the first chapter of "MY FIRST FANFIC EVER!". I give a future thank you to those who enjoy my work. Let's begin, shall we?]-

A Quest for the Nostalgic Scent:

Chapter 1: The Creation of Acquaintanceship

It was a sunny day in Edo [Previous name of Tokyo]. In this prominent city in Feudal Japan, the roads were painted with blood while kids played with spinning tops in bowls, brothels filled with hookers were on every corner, and there was all of the raw fish that you could eat. Our tale's beginning brings us to a small shop on an end of town where the yakuza [Violent Roughneck Motherfuckers] would always use as a place of congregation. The only people working there were an old elderly couple and their adopted 19 year old daughter, Fuu, who is a slut. Like any other day, Fuu had to serve these assholes food and drink.

"Hey!" shouts a large Yakuza wearing a purple kimono over in Fuu's direction.

"Bring me another round of sake and some more dumplings!"

"How would you like to eat some of these dumplings and drink MY sake, huh Big Boy?" Fuu said slowly and seductively while pushing her breast together and twitching her legs, slightly bending them.

"Hell yeah!" exclaims a very horny Yakuza.

The Yakuza reaches his hand over in route to Fuu's legs, but it doesn't get far due to a thrown knife, which chops off his thumb, middle finger, and pinky of his right hand. Blood sprays from the Yakuza's hand, and his fingers lay on the floor, slowly drying out. The other Yakuza in the room are surprised and wonder who the assailant could be. The potentially silent killer is revealed to be Fuu's adoptive mother.

"No you don't!" shouts the old woman with a voice that distinctly matches that of her current golden years.

"Try to touch my daughter again and flipping people off and jerking off won't be the only thing you're not able to do! And Fuu, stop being a slut! I swear, since you've lost your virginity to that tree branch, you've never been the same! You bi-"

The sentence is cut off by the wind chime and the almost silent whipping noise of the drape used as a makeshift door to the shop. A man walks in with a sword on his back and a very rugged look, so rugged that he almost resembles a yakuza. The man walks over and sits on a bench in the corner of the shop. Fuu instantly runs over to him"

"Hey Stud!" says Fuu.

"Can I get you something to enjoy like some tea, dumplings, the BJ special?"

"Good day miss and thank you for being so polite. I'm Mugen and I'll take the tea. Earl Grey if you have it", says the man with a distinct British accent.

"Um where the hell do they have Earl Grey? And this is Japan. We only have green tea", replies Fuu, still baffled at the accent while thinking about how his voice and appearance don't match.

"Fine then Miss. I'll take Green Tea. By the way, what is the BJ Special if I may ask?" asks Mugen.

"It's a special soup where I grind up my dad's ED [Erectile Dysfunction for those of you who don't know] meds and throw it in. That one guy ordered it over there", replies Fuu pointing over to a gentleman eating soup.

The man eating the soup notices that his member is pushing up the table, making his Yakuza friends' tea spill.

"What the fuck?" shouts the Yakuza.

"And you know why it's called the BJ Special?" asks Fuu.

"It makes it all the more better to suck your-"

"Fuu! Stop being a fucking slut!" yells her adoptive mother.

Fuu eventually gets Mugen's tea and sets it on the table. Another person walks into the shop. It is another man who is neatly dressed, wears glasses, and carries two swords. The man instantly catches Fuu's eyes.

"Hey Hotty!" yells Fuu running over to him and grabbing his arm.

"I'll take good care of you!"

"Hands off me, bitch!" yells the man with glasses as he pushes Fuu off of him.

"Do you know who I am? I'm Jin, motherfucka!"

In Fuu's mind she is thinking "What the hell is wrong with this guy? With his appearance, I would have never thought he had such a deep voice and a rude personality!"

The man with glasses walks over to the table overpopulated with Yakuza.

"You're in my light, nigga!" Jin shouts to the man who partook in Fuu's BJ Special. He quickly draws his sword and chops his dick off. The Yakuza man writes in pain of the floor.

"Oh shit!" yells the other Yakuza simultaneously in shock.

"What are you doing killing my men and who the hell are you!" yells the boss Yakuza.

"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" says Jin. He then draws both of his swords and slits every Yakuza neck in the shop."

"Holy crap", says Fuu, on her knees in a slight shock.

"Hey, what do you know?" she thinks.

"I'm in the perfect position for the Jin-guy!"

Jin walks over to the place where Mugen is sitting and stares down at him.

"You're in my favorite spot", says Jin with a harsh tone.

"Move it."

"I'm sorry old chap but not today. Could you sit somewhere else?"

"I SAID MOVE, NIGGA!", yells Jin who then violently slaps the teacup from Mugen's hands, causing the it to shatter and have its contents become one with the floor.

Mugen suddenly draws his sword and slashes at Jin. Jin jumps back just soon enough, leaving his kimono slightly torn by Mugen's blade.

"There is one thing you do not do old chap", says Mugen in a quiet anger.

"You do… not… mess… with… a man's… bloody tea… you…. wanker!"

"Bring it on nigga!" replies Jin in a harsh tone drawing his swords.

"On shit!" thinks Fuu.

"If they both kill each other, then who will I fuck in the next five minutes?"

[END OF CHAPTER 1]

-[That's all for now. Until the next chapter, later!]-


	2. 2: Problem and Commitment

-[Time for Chapter 2. Enjoy! ]-

Chapter 2: Problem and Commitment

Mugen and Jin begin their fight inside of the tea house, exchanging blow for blow with their swords, although neither of the swordsmen received a single flesh wound. As the fight went on for 15 minutes, Fuu was getting impatient.

"When are they going to finish so I can get some cock?" asked Fuu quietly to herself.

She looked down and notices that one of Jin's scabbards has fallen to the ground near her feet. Fuu picks it up and runs to the back of the shop where she runs into her pet flying squirrel, Momo.

"Hey Momo, do you want to try this out too?" Fuu asks gently holding up the scabbard.

"Oh hell yeah!" replied Momo in squirrelly voice. [Yeah, the damn thing talks! It's my story, deal with it!]

Both Momo and Fuu run outside through the back of the shop.

As the fighting continues for 30 minutes, the swordsmen finally exchange words rather than blows.

"Are you ready to throw in the towel old chap?" asked Mugen still slashing his sword.

"Naw. You British nigga! I won't stop till cut yo' bitch ass up!" replies Jin.

As the fighting rages on, Mugen knocks into a candle and it falls to the ground, making a small fire which grew larger by the second.

"Oh bloody hell", said Mugen.

"What you talkin' 'bout nigga?" asks Jin.

Jin sees the fire and stops fighting.

"Oh shit mothafucka!" exclaims Jin.

He whips "it" out and begins urinating in the fire.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" asks Mugen.

"What the hell does it look like?" replies Jin.

"I'm putting the shit out with my all powerful DICK!"

"Oh really?" asks Mugen.

"Then why is the fire still going?"

"Shut the hell up bitch!" yells Jin in an irritated voice.

"We need to finish this fight!" yells Jin.

"Oh hell yeah we do!" yells Mugen.

However, the strength of the fire is too great and smoke of burning wood fills the air. To make it worse, another smoke fills the air.

"Ugh. What is thi-", says Mugen before passing out.

"What the fuck is this shit?" asks Jin before passing out as well.

Both swordsmen fall to the ground and a group of mysterious men with swords and face masks surround them. Suddenly, another man who seems to be their leader walks in and stands even closer to Mugen and Jin.

"Capture them men!" shouts the presumed leader.

"Hurry up so I can fuck my wife! She wants to try out using fish blood for lube tonight! Man, that bitch is kinky! Oh, and these two men WILL pay for their crimes!"

The two incoherent swordsmen are dragged outside of the burning shop and all the men leave ask the building was left in the process of burning to the ground.

The two awaken in jail cell next to each other, covered in soot and torn clothing.

"Damn, mothafucka! You strong as shit, nawmean?" says Jin.

"Well not to toot my own horn but yeah, I am", replies Mugen.

"You aren't such a nancy boy either."

"Just one question though. Why does my mouth taste like bacon, and my pecker stiff as a board?"

"Now that you think about it nigga, it does taste like tonkatsu and my head is spinning," replies Jin.

"Did some mothafucka feed us in our sleep?"

"It depends on what you meant feed", answers a mysterious voice.

A man walks in front of the bars of the cell on the outside and face Mugen and Jin.

"I happen to be to governor around here," says the man with a high voice.

"My men got you two very drunk, gave you some ED medicine, and took you as one night workers in one of the many brothels in the area. The rest is history."

"What the fuck, nigga!" yells Jin.

"What the bloody hell?" yells Mugen.

"I need mouthwash!"

"And you were partially right, glasses samurai", says the governor.

"I took your 'customers' out for tonkatsu before the big night."

"Anyway, you're both scheduled to be executed this evening for killing the high ranking yakuza this area allows me to use for my own personal gain!"

"Isn't that illegal you wanker?" asks Mugen.

"Silence!" yells the governor.

"You are not to speak to me like that! If that continues, you two shall have gags placed in your mouths!"

"You know who I gagged?" asked Jin.

"Your mother. But it wasn't a piece of cloth, it was my cock. And it wasn't her mouth nigga, it was the old bitch's throat!"

The governor turns red with anger and Mugen begins laughing hard to himself.

"Okay, you criminals!" says the governor.

"Your execution has been moved up to this afternoon! You will remain in this cell until then!"

The governor walks out as Mugen is still laughing and Jin is licking air in between the V made with his fingers.

Meanwhile, Fuu is walking around town with Momo on her shoulder and sees a bulletin board in the middle of town. She walks up to it and reads it. It says:

_Two criminal swordsmen, Vagrant Mugen and Vagrant and Ronin Jin, are to be executed this afternoon for burning down a shop in town. An elderly couples' corpses _[Obviously Fuu's adoptive parents]_ were found burned to the bone inside the shop however they were not killed in the fire. They died from an overdose of marijuana, crystal meth, and LSD. They even left a note inside the burned shop which was still legible. The drugs that caused their death were listed on the note as items on their shopping list for a senior citizens orgy. Sick old farts._

"Jeez, and they complained about me being a slut?" says Fuu to herself.

"It's not like you saw it" says Momo.

"They were some sick old fucks. Your mom would take it so hard that her saggy tits would fly and slap the screen door. And your dad was into -"

"Okay, enough of that, Momo!" replies Fuu quickly.

"As for those two guys, I think they would be more useful to me in others ways besides sex. So I'm going to save them."

"You are one crazy bitch", says Momo.

Fuu runs off to buy some fireworks, shoves them in her clothing, and runs off to the execution site where a lot of people have gathered already. She runs up a ladder conveniently located for her to climb up on the roof. On the roof, the execution was about to begin.

"Vagrant Mugen and Vagrant and Ronin Jin shall die today by beheading!" yells the governor.

"Do you have any last words?"

"Suck my dick!" yells Jin.

"Choke on my crumpets you bloody psycho!" yells Mugen.

"DIE!" yells the governor.

The executioners take their stand and bring down their swords in order to behead the two swordsmen. Suddenly, Mugen gets on his back and starts spinning with his legs in the air, kicking the swords out of the executioners' hands. Mugen sees his sword and uses it to cut the rope from around his wrists. He takes his sword and cuts Jin's ropes as well. He also passes Jin his swords which were conveniently located nearby as well.

"Kill them, men!" yells the governor.

However, the command was useless as Mugen and Jin killed about ¾ of his men within the first 5 minutes. Then Mugen moved towards the governor.

"Please, wait!" yells the governor.

"Spare me!"

"Did you know?" asks Mugen.

"There's a quaint little country called Italy. Their female singers with high voices are called SOPRANOS!"

With the word "Sopranos", Mugen kicks the governor in the balls so hard that his testicles leap from his mouth and fall to the ground as he does. After that swift kick, Mugen sees Fuu on the roof with sparkling firework bombs.

"Hey, look up there" Mugen tells Jin.

Jin looks up to see Fuu.

"Well what do you know?" says Jin.

"It's that slut from the shop."

Fuu tosses the fireworks down the roof into the execution area, causing them to explode and the crowd to run away in a panic. Mugen, Jin, and Fuu run away mixing in with the crowd.

Elsewhere, Mugen and Jin are finally alone.

"Ready to finish this?" asks Mugen while unsheathing his sword.

"It's on nigga!" replies Jin who unsheathes his sword as well.

"Stop it!" yells Fuu who runs to them.

"You two are going to help me! I need to find the samurai who smells of sunflowers but I need two body guards to protect me."

"Are you really demanding that I follow your orders, trick?" yells Jin.

"What are these orders miss?" asks Mugen.

Fuu takes out a coin from her kimono.

"You two are wanted criminals in this area, so you're probably going to have to make a run for it anyway", says Fuu .

"Heads says you promise to escort me to the samurai who smell of sunflowers and fuck me. Tails says you can kill each other."

"What was heads again?" asked Mugen.

"To escort me", replies Fuu.

"That's weird", says Mugen.

"I could've sworn I heard something el-"

Before Mugen can finish, Jin takes the coin and tosses it. It falls to the ground revealing heads.

"YES!" exclaims Fuu happily.

In the distance, more of the governor's men are seen running towards them in the distance.

"After them!" yells their leader.

Mugen, Jin, and Fuu make a run for it to get away. While they're running, Momo catches up with them and lands on Fuu's shoulder as she runs.

"Oh yeah, Jin!" says Fuu remembering something.

She hands over Jin the scabbard he dropped while fighting Mugen in the shop as they run. Jin takes it and notices something different about it.

"Why does it smell like a used dildo?" asks Jin.

"It also has bits of acorn and hair on it, like from a small animal"

"NEVER MIND IT!" yells Momo and Fuu at the same time.

"What the fuck?" yells Jin.

"That squirrel can talk and you two used my sword scabbard as a dildo! You two are dead! Especially the furry bitch!"

"Don't worry about it", says Mugen.

"Just RUN!"

[END OF CHAPTER 2]

-[Until the next chapter, Peace.]-


End file.
